I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
