I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize