If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
