A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
