you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Everything about him screamed your future.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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