so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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