Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
