Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
