Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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