Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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