u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
