Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
