you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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