yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
