Is it because I queefed?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
