So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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