I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
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You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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