hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
