I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
