two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
