giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
