im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
