I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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