marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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