Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
