As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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