I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
