He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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