Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
