Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize