so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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