sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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