New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
