Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
