The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
