I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
