My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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