all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
