Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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