I'm so fucking centered right now
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize