I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
