drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
is that a dick in a sweater?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
