i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
