Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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