he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My ATM looks so different sober.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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