Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
