Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
