Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
