She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
