It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize