Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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