dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
