Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
worst night to have a conscience
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We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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