i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
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Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
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I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Of course I have a pirate flag
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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