sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
