wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize