Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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