So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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