to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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