i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
