home. puking in laundry basket.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
