You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
