It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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