Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
